indian.wedding

Yesterday I fell in love with India. Driving in a car to a tiny village outside of Jaipur, trying not to wrinkle my fancy blue wedding saree, music from Om Shanti Om (biggest bollywood movie ever) blasting from the stereo, zooming past whirlwinds of dust filled with explosions of color. That was it- dust, splash of red, dust, splash of blue, dust, splash of purple, it never ended. Laughing, laughing, and laughing as the men drank bad tasting beer and smoked (I cheers'd with my water bottle) and dancing in the car, twisting our wrists, and screaming at the top of our lungs. And then there was the wedding...

I was invited to the wedding by my friend Rishi, a guy I met when I first arrived in Jaipur with my Taj travel buddy Seth. Rishi offered us a ride in his rickshaw, and two hours later we found ourselves at his house, having beers with his family, playing with his cousin's baby, and just hanging out. Rishi introduced himself by saying that he is no ordinary rickshaw driver, and he was certainly right. He's an artist who's going to England this May to exhibit his work, he taught himself English from the tourists (and is pretty much fluent), is sending his younger sisters to school to become a doctor and an engineer, and is just pretty much crazy. Once Seth left, when I wasn't at the conference, I was hanging out with Rishi's family, eating food, talking to his sisters, and getting amazing tours of Jaipur (this photo is of a tomb site for maharajahs, basically an empty tourist site that is just stunning, but not very popular). His family pretty much adopted me, and on the day of the wedding, we had a ridiculously fantastic time getting me ready. While Rishi went to run some last minute errands, his two sisters put tons of make up on me, put me in jewelry, and then his mother and father came in and all 4 of them wrapped me in my saree. I felt like a doll- if it wasn't so funny, it would have been very uncomfortable for me, but everyone was laughing (and poking fun at me in Hindi I'm sure), so all I could do was laugh along.

After taking tons and tons of photos (that's me and Rishi in a very prom-like shot), we were off to the groom's house, and then off to the village. When we arrived at the groom's house, we were greeted by the most dazzling group of woman I've ever seen up close- wearing such sparkling and brightly colored sarees... It was incredible. They all got really excited to see me in a saree, and they pulled me into the porch area to meet the groom, who was sitting on the ground with some friends. After a few minutes of me trying to speak Hindi, and smiling a lot, some drummers started drumming and the groom's Aunt pulled me into the middle of the circle to start dancing with her. Now most of you know that I LOVE dancing, and can usually never resist it, but considering how many people were staring, and the fact that I was wearing a garment that could come undone with just one mis-step, I was a little hesitant. But after a few moments of watching this woman dance, I couldn't help it, and I started flicking my wrists and shaking my hips like mad. Everyone went crazy and others joined in for this ecstatic/bollywood dance party. Only photos and experiencing it, can really explain it...

From the groom's house, we jumped in the car and travelled the 30 km to the village where the bride lives. For those who don't know, Indian weddings are usually a HUGE deal, and this happened to be the day when the most weddings were happening because it was considered very astrologically auspicious (the majority of wedding dates are chosen by an astologer, at least in Hinduism, I'm not sure about Muslim weddings). That said, there was a lot of crazy energy flying about on the ride there. When we arrived to the village, everybody gathered around, and the groom mounted a decorated horse to ride over to the bride's house. Generally (and I know it varies from state to state, region to region), the groom's party parades through the street to the bride's party. There's music (this group had a truck with speakers blasting AND a live marching band), tons of dancing, people throwing confetti and spraying everything from shaving cream to beer. People from the village come out from their houses and line the streets, watch from rooftops, or join in (and if you thought getting down the FDR drive at rush hour was hellish, try getting through one or two of these wedding parties on your way home). So basically, it's like one big parade, and being that I was a blonde white girl in a saree, I was a pretty central attraction. I was sure to be really cautious going to this wedding in the first place, but I don't think Rishi nor I had any idea how intense it would be. Men and boys gathered around and just stared, a few asked me for my autograph, and of course there were the pictures. There was no escaping it, so eventually Rishi put me with the girls, and told them to watch after me. Thank god for those girls... There were about 5 girls, aged 8-15 who took me in, held my hands on both sides, and wouldn't let me out of their sight. They spoke a bit of English and I tried to speak Hindi, but for the most part we just smiled and laughed together amidst all of the chaos. We walked most of the parade in the back, unfortunately right behind the horse... Even with everything going on around us, I spent most of that time thinking of ways to get the girls to veer off to side so that we were not directly behind the horse, in case it got scared and kicked back, but the girls didn't understand what I was saying. Every time I tried to steer us to the right, they gave me a confused look, and put us right back in the center. There goes any authority I might have had considering I was 10 years older than them.

When we were near the bride's house, Rishi's friend grabbed me and told me to dance in the circle. Now I had danced at the groom's house, but this was a whole new ball game. The men and boys dancing were literally doing the craziest mix of ecstatic, almost shamanic looking dance, with bollywood and incredibly vulgar dance moves. Add that to the crowds of people lining the street, the crazy music, the confetti, and the horse, and I just didn't know if I was up for it. But the girls prodded me forward, and Rishi helped me along, and before I knew it, I was dancing with the guys, twirling and twisting, shaking, and doing my thing. It was surreal, but I could only last a few minutes before I ran to the back to re-join the girls. It was a great experience, but I was enjoying the observing perspective from the back- besides, the last thing I wanted was to keep attracting MORE attention (sidenote: Rishi and his friend had my camera the whole time, so unfortunately I wasn't able to get as many shots of the actually event than of me with people...).

About an hour later, we made it to the bride's place where a huge tent was set up. We all sat there and waited while ceremonies and rituals were performed, and then there was food. The actually marriage rituals don't happen until much later, usually after midnight after the celebration and food, and usually there aren't many people present for that. I ate with Rishi and the men, and the food was delicious!! I love wedding food and sweets! Right after the meal, however, it was already time to go, so Rishi took me in to see the bride. She was inside, surrounded by the women, and they all called me in and tried to take photos of me with her, but she was either really shy, really terrified, really angry I was there, or scared in general. She wouldn't look at me, and everyone was yelling at her, and so I bent down, touched her feet, whispered thank you, and got out as fast as I could. There was so much going on, that I couldn't ask anyone what was wrong, and after that, it was definitely better that we were leaving... It's difficult to explain unless you've experienced what it's like to be a white person in a small village, but the attention I was getting was just too much. The groom was really happy though, and we took a lot of photos together, so I think it was okay that I was there for his part. Rishi and I jumped in a car with a bunch of his friends, and headed back to Jaipur for the night, leaving the whirlwind behind before I could even register what had happened.

So that was the wedding, from my very limited perspective. It was insanely fun, scary, intense, and I would love to go to another one where I can learn more about what is going on, and not have so much attention directed at me for being white and blonde. I wouldn't take back the experience for anything though.

Now I'm in Pushkar (photo is the view from my hotel) and it is seriously one of the most magical places I've ever been (way to go Lonely Planet with the whimsical, fairy-like description). This place is so laid back, everyone just says namaste to each other, and the vibe makes me so happy. I'm staying in a renovated haveli, in a room that is great, but I need to take about 8 different maze-like staircases up down and around to get to. I think I may come live here for the month of April... Went out to dinner to relax and be on my own for a bit, and as I was sitting at this non-descript tourist restaurant, eating pasta, and listening to Britney Spears, I wondered why I didn't choose a more backpacker friendly, hippie-d out spot of which there are many around here. However, as I was finishing up, a man asked me what I was reading and I was initially a little distant because I was tired and didn't feel like having the "what country" "first time in India?" conversation, but we started talking, and turns out he runs an organic farm, soon to be eco-village, intercultural exchange center in Pushkar and Jaipur. He told me he's looking for help researching/writing this book/pamphlet on intercultural exchange between India and the west, and being an anthropology major from the west travelling in India, I told him I was very interested. So to make a long story short, I'm going to meet with him and this german journalist in Jaipur in a few days to see if we can work together, and then I'll come back and help interview westerners living in Pushkar, and research appropriate literature and such for the book. It's all very up in the air of course, but what!?

As I was walking home from dinner, smiling and saying namaste to everybody, I stumbled upon a guy that gave me a free digeridoo chakra healing. Don't ask- it was insane (in a good way), and I think I'm going to enjoy my time in Pushkar for sure...